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Cry - Melissa Swart
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Cry

I have been through many times in my life where it seemed a bit more dark than light.
A while back was one of those times.
Life is such a privilege, a beautiful life with an incredible husband and two beautiful kids. It is exactly this reason that makes it harder to talk about the fact that we might feel like we are drowning. How can someone with so much to be thankful for sink into such a deep hole.

One of the things we can do to stop feeling guilty about our emotions, to stop us from being silent and to stop us from struggling alone is to stop comparing.
We often tell ourselves; “there are other people who are going through a lot worse”, “my life isn’t so bad, I just need to stop this nonsense and get over it”, “if I say something people will shrug it off, because they will think i’m silly for feeling the way I do”. These are lies and they perpetuate the ignorance of so many people.
This is one of the biggest reasons why many people, moms, dads, children, students etc suffer in silence, living a life with no colour. You see, you might have been through heavy things in your life, but that doesn’t mean that the thing someone else is going through (that might seem silly to you) isn’t something earth shattering to them. We all have lived different lives and the things we have seen or experienced in our life directly influences the way we experience our problems.

We have kids who are growing up in a broken world and wether we like it or not, they might get hurt. If we can’t come to terms with our own wounds, how will we teach them to heal theirs.

Our backgrounds, our biological composition (aka our brain’s functioning, aka mental illness), together with what we were taught about our emotions, is what culminates into the heaviness some of us carry. Most of us have had painful experiences and more people suffer from mental illness than we think and because we are never guided through this, we become grown ups with unresolved issues. These issues will keep popping up for the rest of our lives and we will never be free from our heaviness if we don’t take charge and break the cycle.

We have kids who are growing up in a broken world and wether we like it or not, they might get hurt. If we can’t come to terms with our own wounds, how will we teach them to heal theirs. They need to know that it is okay to cry, to be angry, to be frustrated, to mourn, to feel the feelings that bring along the heaviness, BUT we need to equip them with the knowledge to take control. They need to grow up free from the constant suppression of unresolved issues. YES, there will always be a battle that needs to be fought, but rather one battle at a time than 10 unfinished ones.

I’m not a psychologist. I am just a woman, who has known unbearable pain, in the past, and who has bipolar 1 disorder. Im not a victim of either of these facts, because I have never kept silent. I don’t want my kids to look at others who struggle and have judgement rather than compassion, because I know the feeling of receiving no compassion from ignorant people.

Let us help heal and help educate the ignorant. Let us teach our kids that it is okay to have feelings and it is also okay to ask for help when these feelings become too big. Let us teach them to see when someone is struggling and let us teach them to stick out their hand and help them up, when no one else will.

3 Comments

  • Chantelle Beukes

    20.06.2018 at 08:04 Reply

    You just spoke right into my heart and into my own headspace. Why is it so easy to help other people cope, but when it comes to our own darkness we’re afraid to speak up and ask for help or ask for a compassionate ear. Is it a fear of rejection, a fear of being less than what people see you as? Thanks for being brave with your words, for speaking right into a space where people often don’t tread.

  • Mari-Louise

    20.06.2018 at 13:22 Reply

    Dis so waar dame. Het hierdie week oor presies die onderwerp gesels met my man. Dankie vir so goeie post!

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